Sunday, December 16, 2007 while watching the end of Season 2 of Heroes on the Xbox 360 (streaming from my PC with the new DivX support) the video started skipping randomly. A four second freeze, then twenty second freeze, finally amounted to a perpetual video freeze that prompted me to reboot my Xbox 360. Well, there in-lies the problem. Instead of being presented with the lovely chime and brief animation of the usual Xbox 360 boot process, there was silence accompanied by the soft glow of a blank plasma screen. Perhaps I had knocked some cable loose or my network was on the fritz. Reboot number 2… Nothing! Wait… What’s that? The “Ring of Light” was taunting me with a display of 3 Red Lights. Reboot number 3… Of course, I was doomed (moreover my Xbox was doomed).

Hello Microsoft

After moments of cursing and escaping denial I called up Microsoft (1-800-4MYXBOX) and was greeted by Max the overly excited Xbox Automated Servant. What a pain in the ass! I went through the process of a computer…eh…Max telling me to check the very obvious (power cable, hard drive, video cable, etc.) before informing me I must talk to an “Agent” to resolve my problem. The “Agent” I talked to was friendly and I told him directly the my Xbox had the “Ring of Death” (to which he didn’t respond) So, I rephrased “Ring of Death” to 3 Red Lights in the “very bad” quadrants. He countered with “Your Xbox 360 console may be experiencing general hardware failure”, and immediately verified my address and phone number that I registered with and asked for the serial number on the back of the Xbox.

After final verification, “Agent” said that they would be sending a shipping box (3 to 5 business days UPS) to my address and he then proceded to give me a 12-digit number to affix to the Xbox as a form of internal tracking or case number. He also informed me that if the problem was not General Hardware Failure that I would be charged $100 for their troubles as it would not be covered under warranty. Thank you. Have a nice day. Microsoft loves you. Here’s a free month of Xbox Live for your troubles. Good bye!

Six Days Later

Well, that went smooth, or so I thought. 6 days later and still no return box. I decided to call up Microsoft and ask what the deal was. Once again, the lovely Max to contend with. Mind you, this guy..eh..computer won’t let you through to a human unless you scream “Agent” about 20 times or just continue to give wrong “Menu Choices”. So, I had the pleasure of speaking with yet another “Agent“. She was friendly as well, and I mainted a level head when explaining that I still had yet to receive a shipping box from them. I was placed on hold for roughly 5 minutes and when she returned there was no explanation of the status, just that I would be receiving the shipping box in another 3 to 5 business days. Thank you. Have a happy holidays. Microsoft loves you. No more Xbox Live giveaways. Just wait on us!

Still Waiting

This was absolute crap. I didn’t get irate with her, because it’s not her fault their customer service sucks. Microsoft should consider the customer service of EA who more than admit their defects as they happen (Rock Band guitars). I returned a Rock Band guitar that was defective just by answering 4 questions on a simple web form. They gave me a UPS tracking number of the return box and the process took no more than 10 days, but I can’t even enjoy the splendid results of the ordeal due to the fact my Xbox is bricked. Yes, I realize they did well with extending the warranties due to this problem, but how long did that take?

8 Days Later. The 3rd Phone Call

Obviously I didn’t receive the return box in 3 to 5 days, or even 8 days for that matter. I called again on the way to a family dinner. I slid by “Max” by just saying “Agent” when prompted and then “Xbox 360″ when asked what I was experiencing problems with. After 5 minutes an Agent was on the line to help. I explained to her that I’ve called 2 previous times and each time nothing was shipped to me. Well, she explained that the orders were never “fully” processed, to which she explained no further. I complained a little, and in my frustration I asked if there was another way to go about this or if I could have any form of tracking number now so that I can quit wasting my time calling Microsoft every other day. “Well sir, we can email you a shipping label to affix to your own box,” said the Agent confidently. (At this point I was almost speechless. Why wouldn’t this be offered as an option to begin with?) I said “Great!!” here’s my email blah@youbettersendthis.com, and I was happy knowing that I return home after dinner to an Inbox containing the shipping label I’ve been waiting for.

The Missing Label

I returned home after dinner excited that I would be able to check my email, print my label, and ship the box out the following day. Open email, check mail, and… nothing! Hmm… Check spam folder… Nothing! Craziness! I figured I would give an instantaneous process overnight to see if it arrives. The next morning I checked my email. You guessed it! Of course the label wasn’t there. This entire problem was getting aggravating!

11 Days Later. Redemption.

I waited a couple of days before calling again. There’s only so much one can take on the phone with people who read out of a play book and never give results. Skipped Max and talked to Agent Pat. Yes, Agent Pat will be remembered in this whole fiasco as the Agent whole deserves his title entirely. I explained all of the above details to him and as he browsed my records he informed me that absolutely nothing was finalized. The first two shipping box orders were never processed, and the email containing the shipping label was never sent. He assured me that he completed the necessary processes and that the shipping label would be sent to me by the end of the day. He was right… Well, sort of right. I called him at 2:00 P.M. December 29 and the email didn’t arrive until 4:51 A.M. December 30, but it arrived nonetheless. I plan to ship out the box tomorrow and continue documenting the progress.

This story will continue as I find out more.